Saving for the future

When Allison was a little over a year old, J and I decided to enroll her in the Florida prepaid college program. Wanting to be smart about saving for her future, we chose a plan that will lock in the tuition rate at current prices and cover her for 4 years of school and a year in the dorms at a state university. It was the smart thing to do for our perfect little girl who was growing and developing as she should.

To this day, she is still enrolled in the plan. Every month the bill comes in and we diligently pay it. However, that envelope never makes me happy when it's in the mail box. J and I have never really talked about the fact that we're paying for something that she may never use.

Yesterday I got our year end statement in the mail. We have paid almost 25% of her tuition. That's almost a full year of college for her that has been paid. If things were different I would be beaming with pride and imaging her as a young adult attending classes and living the college lifestyle. Instead, for the first time, I flipped through the enclosed brochure to see what the refund/cancellation policies are.

If we cancel the policy due to disability, they will give us a full refund minus small processing fee. Maybe it's weird but I don't think I'm ready yet to cancel. I think if I cancel I will feel like I'm giving up on her. That I'm giving up on a cure or treatment that could change everything. After all, she's only 4. Who knows what advances are just around the corner?

I'm not even sure if I want to talk about what I've discovered with J since he pays the bill every month without asking me what we should do about it. He's probably in the same place that I am but I don't want to risk that he might feel differently and want to cancel now and pocket the refund.

Hopefully we will have another child. When that happens, I could possibly cancel her policy and use the lump sum to open a new account for the other child. That way it is still college savings we have been paying for, just maybe for someone else. But that feels weird also to be honest, like I'd be giving another child something that belongs to Allison.

I think I'm going to put my head back in the sand a little longer on this issue. Over time, I think we'll figure out what we're going to do and hopefully then it will feel like the right decision.